The Perfect Decoy
by EquestrianCSI
Summary: For Abby, this assignment turned out to be morbidly fun! I do NOT own NCIS, the characters, the show, and blabbity blah blah. This fiction story is mine, though.Chapter 3 UP! Finished!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1; Arriving At The Mortuary

The NCIS team had been handed an assignment: one of the top admirals of the Navy was involved in the sale of human body parts on the black market. It was up to the NCIS team to find out where Admiral Blocker was getting his supply. With Dr. "Ducky" Mallard's help, they had worked up a list of several funeral homes and mortuaries with shady reputations. It was to one of these funeral homes that Tony, Abby and Ziva were headed now. Abby was ecstatic: the girl had a taste for the unusual—no, downright morbid aspects of life, and going to a place of business that dealt with the dead on a day-to-day basis had her positively giddy with excitement. Tony cut his eyes sideways to look again at the young lab tech, dressed in full gothic regalia, eyes sparkling and ponytails bouncing as she trotted along beside him. She was babbling in her excitement, saying all sorts of outlandish things.

"Tony, I've been thinking," she mused, and linked her arm through his.

Usually, when Abby said this, it meant she was ready to chatter half the day about something. Tony really liked the lab tech, but sometimes he wished she'd just shut up. They were walking up the front walk to the mortuary now; they were to pretend to be a grieving family interested in planning a funeral. While Tony and Abby kept the mortician busy, Abby was to look around and see if she couldn't find damning evidence of bodies being put up for sale.

"Get ready, Abby," Tony whispered, placing his hand over hers at the crook of his elbow.

Ziva slowed down, stepping behind her team-mates and bowing her head as if she were in deep mourning for the loss of her loved one; she even managed to throw in a believable sob or two. Abby couldn't keep the grin off her face; this was going to be fun!

…..to be continued….


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2; Do I Look Dead Enough?

Abby wandered the halls of the mortuary, quietly opening doors and peeking in each room as she made her way down the long hall. She was supposed to be trying to find the main office, and hack into the computer to see if she could find records that would prove that the mortician was involved in selling human body parts. Carefully opening the door to the next-to-the-last room on the end, Abby gasped, smiling in delight at what she saw.

The room was large and brightly lit by several fluorescent lights over head. Caskets and coffins of every conceivable colour and size were displayed for sale. Abby walked in, the platform heels on her black boots sinking into the new burgundy carpeting. The smell of new carpet was still strong, and she wrinkled her nose, rubbing it absently with the back of her hand. To her left, a gleaming ebony casket with wrought iron fittings beckoned to her, and Abby walked slowly forward. Lovingly, Abby ran her hand over the smooth surface, looking with something akin to awe at the red satin interior.

"Oh, wow!" She breathed, and looked over her shoulder.

She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she couldn't resist. Quickly, she unlaced her boots and slipped out of them, tossing them behind the black casket. Carefully, so as not to damage anything, Abby placed one sock foot, and then the other, into the casket. Bracing herself with her hands, she lowered her body into the box. Laying her head on the red satin pillow, Abby grinned impishly and crossed her hands over her chest, closing her eyes.

It had been about ten minutes, and Abby decided she should really get up and do what she was supposed to be in the first place. Placing her hand on the edge of the casket, she was about to rise when she heard voices in the hall.

"Which room did he say the body was in?" A man's voice asked.

"The last one on the left," another voice, a woman's this time, hissed.

Abby held her breath and shut her eyes again, cracking one open slightly so she could see who came in.

"This looks like the display room, Sam," the woman said again in exasperation.

"Well, look; there's a body over there."

Abby froze. _Do I look dead enough?_ She thought to herself and fought to keep a straight face. To be mistaken for dead could be interesting.

She could hear the two people coming closer, and she prayed that she could lie still enough to pull the trick off. What if these were the people they were looking for? She wondered if Tony and Ziva had missed her yet.

The woman came closer, and stared down at Abby.

"This isn't the body we're supposed to pick up," she said.

"This looks like just some old prop from 'Night of the Living Dead,'" she added, and turned to walk away.

Abby waited until she was sure they were gone, and sat up, glaring indignantly in the direction of the door.

"Who's she calling old?" she groused, and reached up, shutting the coffin lid.

…to be continued…


	3. Scare Tactics

Chapter 3— Scare Tactics

From the dark interior of the casket, Abby quickly dialed Tony's cell phone; the illuminated screen of her phone bathing her pretty features in an eerie green glow. She had to warn Tony and Ziva about the two suspicious persons that had wandered into the display room while she had been 'testing' one of the caskets. The young lab tech was absolutely sure the couple was part of the ring that was selling human body parts to other countries. Still seething over being called 'old' by the woman, Abby made a face as she listened to the ringing of Tony's cell phone in her ear.

Back in the lobby, the mortician was stubbornly denying his involvement in anything illegal. Ziva had pretended to go to the bathroom and did a little snooping of her own, in addition to looking for Abby. Now she was back, and the look she gave Tony told him that she had found damning evidence to take the pasty-faced mortician in on several charges. Tony had been ignoring his phone, but it chirped incessantly, so he answered it, annoyance in his voice as he read Abby's name on the Caller ID.

"Yes?" He asked tersely, wanting to ask Abby where the hell she was, but not wanting the funeral director to become suspicious.

"Tony," Abby whispered excitedly, "I'm in a casket," she said and Tony frowned.

"You're what?" he asked, pressing his fingers into his eyelids, hoping to feign grief.

"In a casket; but never mind that!" Abby said.

"Some people wandered in here while I was…umm…'investigating'. Tony, they were looking for a body. Now, who comes to a viewing through the funeral home's back door, and can't find their loved one's body, right? So, I got to thinking…" Tony cut her off.

"That's great;" he said, thinking quickly, "what colour casket do you like best?" He watched as the mortician's face relaxed into a smile.

Ziva was watching the other man, and figured he thought he was about to make a good sale for the poor, mourning family. When he cut his eyes to her, she quickly ducked her head, pressing a tissue against her nose and mouth. She let out a small sob.

Tony frowned as the mortician stepped toward Ziva, and he quickly slung his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his side, effectively burying her face just below his armpit.

"Okay, that sounds good, sweetie," Tony cooed into the phone, trying to ignore Ziva's repeated pinches to his lower back.

Ziva meanwhile, was trying to ignore the fact that Tony had her so tightly pressed against his side that she could hardly breathe. Okay, now this was definitely over-kill, she thought, and what's more, Tony was probably enjoying making her uncomfortable.

"Can we possibly look at your caskets?" Tony was asking, and the mortician directed them down the hall.

Thinking quickly, Ziva blew her nose loudly and inelegantly against Tony's shirt. This caused the agent to release her quickly, and swipe at the spot where Ziva's nose had been pressed against him. Giving her a thoroughly disgusted look, he followed the mortician down the hall.

Meeting a man and woman in the hall, the mortician made a huge production of exclaiming that they had entered the wrong door and would they please go wait in the lobby. Tony spotted the black casket where Abby was hiding as soon as they stepped into the display room. He nodded at Ziva, who slipped away and walked toward the lobby.

"So, when do you embalm the bodies?" Tony asked the man, who looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?" he asked, and Tony grinned, pulling his badge from his pocket.

"I mean, before, or after you harvest the organs you're selling?" he asked, taking pleasure in watching the mortician's face pale quickly.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" The man was indignant, and Tony stepped forward, causing him to back closer to Abby's hiding spot.

"Oh, yes you do," Tony taunted.

He looked toward the door. _Time to lay it on,_ he thought, and grinned wickedly.

"Right now my partner, who happens to have trained with the Moussad, is interrogating your friends back there. Do you know what the Moussad do to people who don't talk?" He asked, inching closer.

Just then, the couple walked in, visibly shaken. Ziva followed, gun drawn. Tony turned back to the mortician and forced him to back up until his calves were touching the black exterior of the casket.

"Ziva, show him how you scare a confession out of people," he said, hoping Abby would get the hint.

She did.

Later, back at NCIS headquarters, Tony couldn't stop smiling as he remembered the events preceding the arrest of the mortician and the couple, who turned out to be Admiral Blocker and his wife.

As he'd suggested to Ziva to scare out a confession, he'd backed the mortician up against the casket while Ziva ordered the Admiral and his wife to stand next to the mortician. Just as the man's leg had touched the casket, Abby sprang up, throwing the lid back and yelling at the top of her lungs.

The mortician nearly wet himself, the Admiral's wife fainted, and the Admiral began to babble like a baby, confessing his involvement in the sale of body parts. The three had been arrested on the spot, and were awaiting their day in court.

Just then, Abby walked into the bull-pen, her hair in a tight ponytail at the back of her head, and a tight black t-shirt with a picture of a skull on the front.

"Hey, Abby," McGee said, peering over his monitor, "I heard what a fantastic job you did tonight," he said and Abby grinned.

"All in a day's work for me McGee." She winked at Tony.

"Besides, I've been dying to do that to someone for ages, now."


End file.
